Parenting coach Abi Clarke, 34, is advocating for a major shift in how schools and parents approach attendance, especially for young children. She argues that forcing primary school pupils to attend every day, regardless of their mental or physical health, can lead to severe burnout and emotional distress.
Abi calls for the abolition of ‘good attendance’ awards, which she believes unintentionally encourage children to ignore their wellbeing in order to receive recognition. Instead, she proposes that children should be granted “mental health days”—authorized absences specifically to support their emotional needs without fear of punishment or stigma.
Drawing from her experience as a former primary school teacher and parent, Abi explains that children sometimes need breaks to recharge. “A stressed brain can’t learn effectively,” she says. Schools often demand perfect attendance for awards, but this overlooks the reality of illness, exhaustion, or mental health challenges. Abi recounts her own upbringing, when she was forced to attend school no matter what, leading to a lack of understanding about rest and self-care.
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Abi emphasizes that signs of burnout in children—including emotional outbursts, losing interest in hobbies, and excessive compliance—should not be ignored. She urges parents to trust their children’s need for time off and for schools to treat mental health days as authorized absences. The recommended approach might include allowing one mental health day per term, giving children permission to prioritize their wellbeing.
This is especially important for neurodivergent children, such as Abi’s daughter Emily, who deals with suspected dyslexia and ADHD. Abi points out that such children often mask their struggles throughout the school day, leading to increased exhaustion and stress.
While recognizing that schools must report attendance to the government, Abi warns that the pressure placed on pupils can have negative effects, turning them from vibrant personalities into over-compliant individuals living in constant fight-or-flight mode.
Abi also addresses concerns from some parents who fear that offering mental health days might undermine resilience. She insists that resilience can be nurtured with empathy and kindness rather than strict enforcement. “Children are human beings with thoughts and feelings,” she says. “If a child is so upset they don’t want to go to school, it should not just be dismissed as ‘bad behaviour’—it’s a signal we need to listen to.”
Ultimately, Abi’s message is clear: schools and parents must prioritize the mental health of children and recognize that rest and emotional care are just as important as academic attendance.