A recent Mumsnet post highlights a dilemma faced by a worker who received a £2,000 referral bonus after recommending a friend for a new role with a salary increase. While thrilled for their friend’s success, they wondered how the friend might feel about their unexpected financial gain.
The user explained, “A few months ago, a colleague from another team mentioned they were recruiting. I knew someone suitable and passed on my friend’s CV. She ended up getting the job with a decent pay bump—really pleased for her! Now, I’ve learned I’m receiving a £2,000 referral bonus, which I hadn’t known about when I referred her.”
Concerned about the potential impact on their friendship, the user asked Mumsnet for advice: “If you were my friend, how would you feel about me getting this bonus? Honestly, I plan to keep it but maybe celebrate by taking her out. Would love to hear your perspectives.”
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Responses varied but generally agreed the bonus belongs to the referrer. One commenter said, “I wouldn’t share it, but taking her out to celebrate is a thoughtful gesture.” Another suggested, “It’s best to mention it to avoid awkwardness if the topic comes up.” Others noted that the friend already benefits from the job and salary increase and that referring others in the future might offer them the same opportunity.
One user recalled a similar situation and wrote, “I didn’t share my referral fee either.” The original poster later expressed appreciation for the feedback but admitted feeling uneasy: “I worry she might feel resentful that I’m keeping the bonus.”
Ultimately, while there is no obligation to share a referral bonus, celebrating the achievement together can strengthen the friendship and acknowledge the mutual benefit.