Jason Bennett moves slowly down the stairs on Christmas Eve, the cold handrail a stark reminder of the chill in his heart. For the fifth year in a row, he does not call for his children or look for gifts beneath the Christmas tree. Instead, he approaches his mantelpiece, where a photo of his daughter Lacey and son John-Paul stands in place of the usual carrots and milk left for Santa.
He gently kisses the photograph—a ritual he has observed every day since the unimaginable tragedy that took his children’s lives.
On the night of 18 September 2021, Damien Bendall brutally ended the lives of his pregnant partner Terri Harris, her children Lacey, 11, and John-Paul, 13, and Lacey’s friend Connie Gent, 11, who was staying for a sleepover in their Killamarsh home. The children were bludgeoned with a claw hammer, and in a horrific act of cruelty, Bendall sexually assaulted Lacey both as she lay dying and afterward before fleeing to Sheffield, where he traded John-Paul’s Xbox for drugs.
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Jason has faced a relentless burden since that day—an unbearable grief that grips most fiercely during the holiday season. He often replays the last phone call with his children, made the evening before their deaths, cherishing the memory of their smiles and the fondness in their voices as they shared their small yet heartfelt accomplishments.
“I was on holiday in Devon,” he recalls. “I missed my daughter’s video call initially but called her back, and I’m so glad I did. They wanted to show me how they’d spent their pocket money. Lacey told me she and Connie had set up a charity sweet stall, and John was so proud of what they had done.”
The morning after the nightmare, Jason discovered the news through social media and, after unanswered calls to the house, learned of the police investigation from a chilling image of a white tent veiling the home. The call that evening shattered him into tears for his “angels.”
Christmas, once a time of joy and togetherness, has felt empty since. “The first Christmas without them was unbearable,” he admits. “I kept thinking about what presents I would have bought or games we’d have played. I just wanted to die.”
Jason treasured every detail of Christmas—especially cooking the festive meal and watching his children laugh and open gifts. Now, those joyful rituals have been replaced by painful absence. “I loved cooking for them,” he says. “Christmas was everything.”
In the wake of the tragedy, Jason retreated from the world, unable to work or embrace life. “For two years, I didn’t leave the house or want to live,” he reveals.
Yet, through the support of compassionate friends and family, he began to heal slowly. “It’s tough when people don’t talk about them, but I promise myself to take step by step. I have my rituals—kissing their worn photo and laying flowers at their funeral around John’s birthday.”
Remembering his children brings bittersweet warmth amid sorrow. Lacey was polite and kind, much like her father, and John-Paul’s fiery exterior masked a sensitive heart filled with humor. Together, they shared joy, love, and laughter.
Returning to work and life has been challenging, but Jason leans on his close-knit circle. “You can’t walk around miserable forever. Life changes—it’s never better, just different.”
To honor their memory, Jason has raised over £78,000 for the Youth Cancer Trust in Dorset, the charity his children supported. He organizes charity football matches and other events to keep their spirit alive.
Jason holds hope that one day, Christmas will feel festive again. Until then, he will keep kissing the fading photograph and cherish the Christmases they shared. “I was truly the luckiest father on earth to have had them,” he says with profound love.
Damien Bendall received a whole-life order, ensuring he will spend the rest of his life in prison after pleading guilty to the murders and the sexual assault.